Why does mommy fill my day

With things I cannot do or say? 

How am I supposed to grow

If all I hear is No! No! No! 

These are the first four lines of a poem i wrote for the boys some months ago. It kinda goes on and lists the things i say no to and when i started putting those down i realized how often that word comes up when i talk to the kids. That’s not conversation…that is a negative sounding directive! And after all my attempts to avoid the constant Nos i find myself saying it all the time. 

It creeps in quietly as you go along your way trying to be peaceful through toddler chaos…”don’t play with your food!”, “don’t dig your nose”, DON’T scratch your brother’s face! 

No grabbing! No touching the hot iron! DO NOT throw your toys out of the window. 

Don’t waste water, don’t tear the book, don’t pee in the living room! 

The tiny little No slips in and gets to be a larger and larger part of one’s dialogue…

Anyway, writing the poem got me thinking about it and at least i am a little more aware of it now. Let’s hope that i use a little less of the No words from tomorrow! 


About myfourboysandme

Mom - a word that defines me... I smell of oats, johnson's and home baked cookies I am pink, purple, green and orange and so is the floor my kids color on. Flour on my clothes and a brush in my pocket, my glasses bent out of shape and smudged with tiny fingerprints. I can't remember the date but i know almost 40 pictures books by heart. I wake up humming 'wheels on the bus'and i talk with my fingers and eyes and mouth. My bag carries band aids, napkins, wipes, crayons, papers, candy and sometimes my wallet. I know all the parks and very few of the restaurants in my neighborhood. Most of my shopping is diapers, books and paints My phd certificate lies in a roll, the frame now contains an abstract work of art by two year olds and i am prouder of that piece of paper. mom - a word that defines me!

2 responses »

  1. How about “Stop!” accompanied with a gesture as a way to indicate precisely what they need to do in that moment? Then maybe after a while, in not-critical situations, you can only use the sign. Can totally imagine how challenging it must be, though. 🙂

    • i know..but stop still has the same’s a directive and fairly negative as well although with STOP i do away with the actual No word. Stop it or stop is definitely another high frequency term that i am working with 😦
      We also have stern face, raised eyebrows, frowning face as non verbal cues but again, it brings me back to my point about stopping the kids from doing stuff…basically NO in a different form.

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