There are days…and there are days. On some days I feel like I am going crazy…on others I realize I already have. Seriously, while it is fun being a mom to three boys there are times when I feel ready to pull my hair out. And then, every little thing piles up till I finally lose it!
I hate yelling at my little chaps. But at times, although I breathe (deeply and a lot) and try to keep calm I can’t. The shouting, fighting, crying and tantrums culminate in me just snapping and then I raise my own voice up a few notches and let loose!
But then, after I do that, and I see my boys’ bright little faces crumple I stop and feel worse than I was. I cannot expect them to not yell if that is what they see me do when I am upset. And I think, sometimes as an adult i get overbearing in terms of what they should do. Just because they are little kids does not mean they don’t have the ability to choose for themselves. And I really need to pick my battles and reserve my judgment for issues where they can hurt them selves or others and not over what they have to eat or wear. I realize that it is more important for me to treat them with respect because they will truly learn to respect themselves and others if that is what they see. I expect them to sit still in restaurants, not touch things in shops, not talk loudly, not argue or get upset when we are out….there are seriously so many NOs.
Today my 2 year old came up to me when I did not respond to something he had asked. “Aai!” he said in a serious and firm voice “Now, you listen to me please!” I realized exactly what I sound like and decided that i did not quite like it.
I am going to try harder tomorrow…because I want my kids to be loving, respectful, kind human beings..and for that I first need to try and be a better human being too!