I know it is unrealistic to expect kids to do things when you feel they should be doing it. Right from the very first day, my twins started training me to stop thinking like that. Yeah i know developmental psych tells you that each one will develop at his pace…and yet it sets developmental guidelines that we keep looking at and referring to. So when one of them is walking and the other isnt, there is a little niggling worry at the back of my mind though i often tell myself to let it go. The balance between being laid back, informed, aware and over-cautious…a difficult trap for a parent to not fall into.
Sid and Nish started working on me early. From the day i delivered them…Sid was in a hurry to get out…barely a couple of pushes and out he came with loud lusty wails…Nish continued to chill out in his little universe inside me…he had to be rudely plodded and guided out…barely a sound from him much to our worry and consternation.
They did everything at different paces…one started crawling early, one walked very late. One was gregarious, the other clung to me when in company of strangers. and it continues even today.
I would worry about Sid not being interested in books and now he is totally into them. My youngest Amu thought hardcover books were for teething and I wondered how we would change that…today he never lets a day go by without getting any available adult (or brother) to read as many books as he can get us to.
I was thinking of this last evening when we went out with friends to a play gym. Usually, in the past, Sid has always kept sticking to me, running off to play but returning like a homing pigeon to ensure that I was right there watching him…and then, last evening it was like he took flight. As soon as we reached the play area…a completely new space for us, he barely waited to take off his shoes and then he was off, running and playing with his brothers, not remotely worried about whether I was around or not.
It’s been like this with so many little things…music and singing (i kept asking the boys to sing along with me as we strummed the guitar and they never would, instead asking me to sing for them. Now Nish is happily belting out Beatles and Carpenters and grooving to the music and the beat. Amu sings incessantly as he goes about his day and Sid enjoys rhythm and beats).
Every now and then, i need to take a step back, breathe…and simply allow them to be. they will do what they have to do…When they are ready!