looking at the world through my almost 3 year old’s lens

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Amu is a few days shy of 3…the terrible twos seem to using these last few moments of his twos to manifest themselves and make up for lost time. From a cheerful kid with a fairly sunny disposition, Amu has turned into the king of tantrums. He wants his brothers to share (you have to learn to share nish” he preaches) But try asking him to let someone else dip into the (common) tin of cookies and we have a total melt down. “he cant take a biscuit…it’s my tin” “No” i reason, “it’s our tin”. “Ok…but the biscuits are still all mine”

Last evening as he rapidly dismantled a complicated lego car that his brother had made, I intervened saying “Don’t think that is such a great idea Amu. Sid and Nish made that car. check with them first”
Egocentric boy replies “No I want to break it. They want me to break it Aai” (yeah sure they do love!)

Here’s what a trip down to the play area looks like….we get to the ground floor, I help him wheel his rather unwieldy bike to the door. I prop the door open. “Why did you do that???? I wanted to open the door!!!!” (loud scream)
I figure the simplest thing to do is to close the door
Me: Sorry about that Amu. I did not know you wanted to open the door. You don’t  need to yell. You can just ask me to close it
Amu: No! You can’t just close it. Now we have to go back up again and come down and I will open it
Me: Why dont we just open it again from here?
Amu: No that’s not fair. I wanted to do it own my OWN! We have to go up again.
The other two boys are waiting with their bikes and looking at us. I ask them to go on ahead and start playing.
Amu: Come back up!
Fortunately at this point he was distracted by some friends who had also come out to play. However,  half an hour later he remembered and came back to me with the same ridiculous request.

He sometimes even asks me to return his snot, to unwipe the water from his body, to give his pee back to him (how could I flush it without checking?)

I am struggling with the balance (and my sanity). Do i give in to some of it, stay firm and not give in at all and deal with the loud raucous tantrums (it is IMPOSSIBLE to rationalize at that point), fortunately my 4 yr old twins recognize the madness and are fairly decent in dealing with it…though the broken lego constructions and jigsaw puzzles leave them hopping mad too!

Oh, and the negotiations!!! Boy can he negotiate …and he is super persistent too! I am truly hoping that this is just another phase that will pass (soooooon). It is teaching me patience (much more than I ever thought I would need), helping me with skillful use of vocabulary (cause I certainly can’t start cursing) and definitely highlighting the need for meditation.

But then, on a different note, the tight hugs he gives me so generously, the big fat juicy kisses, head massages and cuddles, general advice on life (finish all your tea ok..it’s good in cold weather) and his loud proclamations of “best mama in the whooooole world!” put the sunshine back into my day, help me see what a precious little bundle of joy he is and helps me get through the next few tantrums!

Of course, any advice on this stage and phase would be much appreciated!

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About myfourboysandme

Mom - a word that defines me... I smell of oats, johnson's and home baked cookies I am pink, purple, green and orange and so is the floor my kids color on. Flour on my clothes and a brush in my pocket, my glasses bent out of shape and smudged with tiny fingerprints. I can't remember the date but i know almost 40 pictures books by heart. I wake up humming 'wheels on the bus'and i talk with my fingers and eyes and mouth. My bag carries band aids, napkins, wipes, crayons, papers, candy and sometimes my wallet. I know all the parks and very few of the restaurants in my neighborhood. Most of my shopping is diapers, books and paints My phd certificate lies in a roll, the frame now contains an abstract work of art by two year olds and i am prouder of that piece of paper. mom - a word that defines me!

3 responses »

  1. he’s showing you he wants more responsibilities. try telling him when you have no time and “must decide for him” and then also remind him of all the things he can do forhimself. If you have the time to let him finish pulling up pants, flushing & washing hands.. then give to him. but rember even though it will take 100 times longer to finish something by himself (putting a dish away), he will only need a few times to learn to do it on his own

    • Thank for the suggestions…i agree with that. Sometimes i end up doing something because i am thinking about my time but it backfires anyway – so will try and pull back and let him try for himself some more. He is an independent fellow – has always been. sometimes balancing the independence with the needs of the other two boys and my time end up being a struggle! Thanks again!

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